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KhoOnxNouxWanxJai Muddie theres a thread under shout out that has the link i tried posting it here but it didn't work
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Family Loss
Posted 22 Nov 2009
Please Read at your own risk. It's a very lengthy story about Thursday and Friday; and my Family's loss of my uncle. I really don't want to, but my mind is heavy... It's one of those days where I am just tired and mentally I need to write it out... or else .. I'll go crazy.
I got home from class that morning and realized I had left my phone at home. I turned it on and checked my voicemails and realized I had 3 voicemails from my Aunt. She was telling me that my uncle had passed and he's in the hospital. I was still positive however that maybe she misunderstood. I called my cousin, but he didn't answer because he was in the hospital. I called my other cousin (his sister) and she picked up. I knew something wasn't right because I could tell she had been crying. I asked her what had happened because I just got home and checked my messages. She took a minute to say, "they said my dad may have died." I was still hopeful. She said, "may have." I text my cousin again and he had gotten my text. He called me back and told me that my uncle had another stroke and this time it's far worst than the first. I told my mom... and I felt my heart break once I saw that her face had gone from filled with happiness and excitement for the day .. It went pale and her smile dropped. I went to the hospital with Tim and we sat there and waited. They finally took me back to the Emergency Room and I saw my uncle laying there. His stomache had blown up to 3'x's it's usual size because he was sucking in air. They had put a tube there to help suck the air out, but he was sucking in to fast for the tube to suck out. My aunt was standing beside me as I asked the nurse, "When do you think he'll come conscience?" The nurse looked at my aunt and looked at me. She had a sad look on her face and her voice was a little shaky. "I don't think he will." She said. My aunt doesn't understand much English so she turned to me and asked, "What did they say?" I didn't have the heart to tell her so I told her that he is sucking in air thats why his stomache is so big.
They told us that he had a Hemorrhage and he was bleeding severely into his brain. My heart was still hopeful because just the other day I had read stories about survivors. They told us that they were transferring him to Baylor because they needed a specialist to deal with his condition.
The situation seemed to have turned around because they are giving him a chance meaning they too believe things can get better. However, that happiness was short lived as the supervisor of the ER department asked my aunt to sign permissions for him to be transferred. She said that he isn't doing so good the next 48-72 hours are looking really bad for him. If we had any relatives out of the country, state, city, town we need to hurry up and call them. She also told us to be prepared.
It seem like the day was never ending as we had to deal with inexperienced transfer paramedics. They were so stupid that when the hospital requested a large transfer truck they brought a small van! Then they looked around and tried to use any random truck the hospital had. The doctors refused to discharge my uncle off to them if they didn't get the truck with proper equipment because my uncle needed it.
2:30 rolled around and I had to go pick my sisters up from school. I got home and told my mom of the situation. She wasn't very pleased with my answer I could tell because her face was blank and pale. We waited until all my sisters came home and we had taken tim to work to drive down to Baylor and see how my uncle was doing. We were greeted by a very anal doctor. He spoke to us as if we were children. "I don't think you guys understand the severity of this situation." My response, "I do, it's just difficult to accept. My aunt and mom wants to know is there anything you can do to help him?" Doctor, "Surgeons can surgically remove the busted veins and blood, however it won't repair what has already been damaged." Me, "I understand. Will you guys do the surgery?" Him, "It depends. If the head doctors see that he is responsive then they will do the surgery, but if he isn't then we will not do the surgery because at the end of the day we would have spent that time and effort for nothing." Me, "Excuse me?" Him, "What I need to know is if they want us to resuscitate him if his situation should worsen." I had to ask my aunt and my cousin who were standing there crying and talking to my uncle who could hear but couldn't respond. Did they want to let him die if he were to get worst or did you want the doctors to help him? Of course they said to resuscitate him because we were hopeful. We knew that miracles happens because this wasn't the first time we had heard this. We heard this the first time when he had a stroke and he made it because we were there to talk to him everyday.
The doctor wasn't so friendly. He told us that if you see anything on him move it doesn't mean he is trying to move it's just reflexes of his muscles. Of course my aunt and mother already knew that they just wanted to hope was that wrong? The doctor lied because we knew my uncle was trying to open his eyes. Every time my mother said, "Ai tit jao dai yin koy bor? Ta jao dai yin muern ta ma hen koy doo. koy ma yiem ni na" (Brother Tit do you hear me? If you do open your eyes and see me. I came to visit you.) Every time my mom said that it seemed that his eyelids would shake really hard. When no one spoke to him his eye lids remained the same...
The nurses came in to take his temperature and asked us to wait in the waiting room around the side.... We waited and the process was taking fairly long. My sister had realized she left my phone in the car so we went back to get it. We had parked kind of far. It was a good 10 minute walk from the hospital to the parking area. When we got back upstairs we realized they weren't in the waiting room anymore. We went back to the room.
Nothing.... Nothing.... would have prepared me for what I would see next....
I walked into the room and my aunt, and two cousins were crying..... my mom was crying and she was being consoled by the doctor for night shift. He looked a little friendlier than the first doctor, but he still brought bad news. I looked over at my uncle and saw blood had came out through his nose. I knew something wasn't right. I asked my mom what's wrong and she said that they told them that my uncle is passing. He doesn't have much time. They asked my mother, my sister, and I to leave the room so that his wife and children could spend some time with him... We did. We went back into the room a few minutes later and my mom leaned her head against the wall and started crying.
I had to leave for awhile to take my dad to work and leave my sister with my 2 other little sisters while I go back to the hospital for my mom. Of course pick up tim. My sister Lisa and her boyfriend went back with us in their own car. We got there and there were others there... my other cousin had came back from UT in Austin and she was crying...
I walked in and out of the room a few times to go to the waiting room where tim and my sisters boyfriend were. I couldn't bare to be in the room and watch his heart beat drop slowly. The doctor told us that would continue to drop. They wouldn't resuscitate him based on Texas state law which stated that if it were futile and had a very low mortality rate then they can call off resuscitation ..... I went back to the waiting room for a 3rd time while my sister held my mom.... My sister came back awhile later to say that his heartbeat had went back up just after my cousin had did the same....
It was around 2:00 in the morning when I heard loud screams coming from my uncles room.... I wanted to run there, but I couldn't... I am a very weak person and I knew that I wouldn't be able to stand there and not cry, but my heart was telling me I had to be strong for my mom.
My sister came and called me and said my mom needed me. I went back to the room. His heartbeat had stopped. My uncle was gone....I held my mom as people came to the room to say their goodbyes and give hugs to my aunt and cousin. It was a nice gesture because I know they needed it.
I talked to the supervisor of the ER about what to do next.. He told me that we will receive a call when my uncle's body is in the morgue. I asked for a contact number. He said there was no need for one because people will be in contact we'll know whats going on. We came home and the only call we got were from organ donor associations and people who wanted his body for medical research....
We waited .... still no call. I decided to call the hospital myself and they told us that my uncle was in the morgue and we had 24 hours from 4 AM to have his body sent to a funeral home because they won't leave it there long...
I was utterly shocked and disgusted. If I had not found a way to call them we would have never known that my uncle was in the morgue. We only had 8 hours to decide what to do .... Now it's day 3 and we're still making funeral arrangements. We've already picked a funeral home and informed all family....
My mom is doing pretty bad. Since Thursday she has only slept for 30 minutes to an hour at most. She hasn't really eaten much ...She starts cooking extremely early to take food to the temple...My mom is doing this bad I can only imagine how my aunt and cousins are taking it.
I got home from class that morning and realized I had left my phone at home. I turned it on and checked my voicemails and realized I had 3 voicemails from my Aunt. She was telling me that my uncle had passed and he's in the hospital. I was still positive however that maybe she misunderstood. I called my cousin, but he didn't answer because he was in the hospital. I called my other cousin (his sister) and she picked up. I knew something wasn't right because I could tell she had been crying. I asked her what had happened because I just got home and checked my messages. She took a minute to say, "they said my dad may have died." I was still hopeful. She said, "may have." I text my cousin again and he had gotten my text. He called me back and told me that my uncle had another stroke and this time it's far worst than the first. I told my mom... and I felt my heart break once I saw that her face had gone from filled with happiness and excitement for the day .. It went pale and her smile dropped. I went to the hospital with Tim and we sat there and waited. They finally took me back to the Emergency Room and I saw my uncle laying there. His stomache had blown up to 3'x's it's usual size because he was sucking in air. They had put a tube there to help suck the air out, but he was sucking in to fast for the tube to suck out. My aunt was standing beside me as I asked the nurse, "When do you think he'll come conscience?" The nurse looked at my aunt and looked at me. She had a sad look on her face and her voice was a little shaky. "I don't think he will." She said. My aunt doesn't understand much English so she turned to me and asked, "What did they say?" I didn't have the heart to tell her so I told her that he is sucking in air thats why his stomache is so big.
They told us that he had a Hemorrhage and he was bleeding severely into his brain. My heart was still hopeful because just the other day I had read stories about survivors. They told us that they were transferring him to Baylor because they needed a specialist to deal with his condition.
The situation seemed to have turned around because they are giving him a chance meaning they too believe things can get better. However, that happiness was short lived as the supervisor of the ER department asked my aunt to sign permissions for him to be transferred. She said that he isn't doing so good the next 48-72 hours are looking really bad for him. If we had any relatives out of the country, state, city, town we need to hurry up and call them. She also told us to be prepared.
It seem like the day was never ending as we had to deal with inexperienced transfer paramedics. They were so stupid that when the hospital requested a large transfer truck they brought a small van! Then they looked around and tried to use any random truck the hospital had. The doctors refused to discharge my uncle off to them if they didn't get the truck with proper equipment because my uncle needed it.
2:30 rolled around and I had to go pick my sisters up from school. I got home and told my mom of the situation. She wasn't very pleased with my answer I could tell because her face was blank and pale. We waited until all my sisters came home and we had taken tim to work to drive down to Baylor and see how my uncle was doing. We were greeted by a very anal doctor. He spoke to us as if we were children. "I don't think you guys understand the severity of this situation." My response, "I do, it's just difficult to accept. My aunt and mom wants to know is there anything you can do to help him?" Doctor, "Surgeons can surgically remove the busted veins and blood, however it won't repair what has already been damaged." Me, "I understand. Will you guys do the surgery?" Him, "It depends. If the head doctors see that he is responsive then they will do the surgery, but if he isn't then we will not do the surgery because at the end of the day we would have spent that time and effort for nothing." Me, "Excuse me?" Him, "What I need to know is if they want us to resuscitate him if his situation should worsen." I had to ask my aunt and my cousin who were standing there crying and talking to my uncle who could hear but couldn't respond. Did they want to let him die if he were to get worst or did you want the doctors to help him? Of course they said to resuscitate him because we were hopeful. We knew that miracles happens because this wasn't the first time we had heard this. We heard this the first time when he had a stroke and he made it because we were there to talk to him everyday.
The doctor wasn't so friendly. He told us that if you see anything on him move it doesn't mean he is trying to move it's just reflexes of his muscles. Of course my aunt and mother already knew that they just wanted to hope was that wrong? The doctor lied because we knew my uncle was trying to open his eyes. Every time my mother said, "Ai tit jao dai yin koy bor? Ta jao dai yin muern ta ma hen koy doo. koy ma yiem ni na" (Brother Tit do you hear me? If you do open your eyes and see me. I came to visit you.) Every time my mom said that it seemed that his eyelids would shake really hard. When no one spoke to him his eye lids remained the same...
The nurses came in to take his temperature and asked us to wait in the waiting room around the side.... We waited and the process was taking fairly long. My sister had realized she left my phone in the car so we went back to get it. We had parked kind of far. It was a good 10 minute walk from the hospital to the parking area. When we got back upstairs we realized they weren't in the waiting room anymore. We went back to the room.
Nothing.... Nothing.... would have prepared me for what I would see next....
I walked into the room and my aunt, and two cousins were crying..... my mom was crying and she was being consoled by the doctor for night shift. He looked a little friendlier than the first doctor, but he still brought bad news. I looked over at my uncle and saw blood had came out through his nose. I knew something wasn't right. I asked my mom what's wrong and she said that they told them that my uncle is passing. He doesn't have much time. They asked my mother, my sister, and I to leave the room so that his wife and children could spend some time with him... We did. We went back into the room a few minutes later and my mom leaned her head against the wall and started crying.
I had to leave for awhile to take my dad to work and leave my sister with my 2 other little sisters while I go back to the hospital for my mom. Of course pick up tim. My sister Lisa and her boyfriend went back with us in their own car. We got there and there were others there... my other cousin had came back from UT in Austin and she was crying...
I walked in and out of the room a few times to go to the waiting room where tim and my sisters boyfriend were. I couldn't bare to be in the room and watch his heart beat drop slowly. The doctor told us that would continue to drop. They wouldn't resuscitate him based on Texas state law which stated that if it were futile and had a very low mortality rate then they can call off resuscitation ..... I went back to the waiting room for a 3rd time while my sister held my mom.... My sister came back awhile later to say that his heartbeat had went back up just after my cousin had did the same....
It was around 2:00 in the morning when I heard loud screams coming from my uncles room.... I wanted to run there, but I couldn't... I am a very weak person and I knew that I wouldn't be able to stand there and not cry, but my heart was telling me I had to be strong for my mom.
My sister came and called me and said my mom needed me. I went back to the room. His heartbeat had stopped. My uncle was gone....I held my mom as people came to the room to say their goodbyes and give hugs to my aunt and cousin. It was a nice gesture because I know they needed it.
I talked to the supervisor of the ER about what to do next.. He told me that we will receive a call when my uncle's body is in the morgue. I asked for a contact number. He said there was no need for one because people will be in contact we'll know whats going on. We came home and the only call we got were from organ donor associations and people who wanted his body for medical research....
We waited .... still no call. I decided to call the hospital myself and they told us that my uncle was in the morgue and we had 24 hours from 4 AM to have his body sent to a funeral home because they won't leave it there long...
I was utterly shocked and disgusted. If I had not found a way to call them we would have never known that my uncle was in the morgue. We only had 8 hours to decide what to do .... Now it's day 3 and we're still making funeral arrangements. We've already picked a funeral home and informed all family....
My mom is doing pretty bad. Since Thursday she has only slept for 30 minutes to an hour at most. She hasn't really eaten much ...She starts cooking extremely early to take food to the temple...My mom is doing this bad I can only imagine how my aunt and cousins are taking it.
Repeated Stupidity
Posted 8 Oct 2009
Ok, I haven't blogged sarNworld in awhile. Today I guess it's one of those days. I'm a bit tired. So much has happened in my life the past year or more. I now realize that the only people that will stick by your side are the people who either gave birth to you or the other people they gave birth to; which are your siblings. My husband of course for sure I can trust him, but when it comes to other relationships such as friendship I find myself doubting everyone that I know. I thought I knew a few people very well, but it turns out that they also know me very well. They know me enough to know what to say to hurt me. Sounds complicated and filled with grammatical errors, but I'm a bit tired and trying to recover from being sick I guess. I use love my friends to death, but now it seems like I'm the only one that believed we were ever friends. I tried to be there for them I really did, but when I had my own obligations to attend to, they refuse to understand and took it as I'm blowing them off. I guess now I am just my lonesome self with my hubby and family. However, I have 4 close friends still and I'm grateful for that. They are people that I went to middle school with. People that I went to high school with. I know now that we don't keep in contact as much and we text each other once a month or every 3 months, but I know that we are still there for one another when the other needs moral support. I feel bad for those who believe that real friendship means to call each other every day and always know what the other person is doing. Well, it could be a difference in opinion. I am very close to my 4 friends, but we don't keep in contact on a regular basis. However, when the phone rings and we see the others person number on the caller id we smile and answer the phone. By listening to the voice on the other side we know how the other person is feeling. That is what I call real friendship. These are the people that I know I will always keep in my life <3
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Comments
rahut-rissaya
27 Jul 2010 - 19:51awesomedua
27 Jul 2010 - 09:30emilie
27 Jul 2010 - 09:27lynda
13 Jun 2010 - 19:03hua jai_num
20 Apr 2010 - 13:15lynda
17 Jan 2010 - 17:11CHECK your paypal account, okay.
you need to clean up your message box
Milk
05 Jan 2010 - 21:45lynda
25 Dec 2009 - 21:45dynomite
08 Oct 2009 - 17:44Thookatha
26 Sep 2009 - 08:29buklaoboi360
04 Sep 2009 - 12:33Cee
24 Aug 2009 - 23:42have chat with ya in a while...what have you been up too?
buklaoboi360
20 Aug 2009 - 12:00buklaoboi360
20 Aug 2009 - 09:25emilie
19 Aug 2009 - 17:56